Adoption: Our Miracle

It's true.  Spiritual growth never happens as quickly as when you see the hand of God working.  Thus it was when He chose to work so intricately in our lives one special year.  He changed our life course (in more ways than one).
  My husband and I met in high school.  We didn't attend the same school.  My husband in fact home schooled and I went to a rural public high school.  We met through his sister and I knew he was the "one" not long after I met him.  We maintained a friendship and then mid-college we started dating.  One winter later he got on one knee and asked me to marry him.  Not long after we were married in a small town baptist church.
  We both shared similar ideals.   We decided I would finish college and then we'd start a family.   We had it planned out perfectly.  Plans...plans....plans.   I am good at plans.  But as we found out, God had OTHER plans.
  Four years into our marriage we realized God's plans weren't necessarily ours.  I had yet to witness two lines on that wonderful little test.  I often wondered what it'd be like.  I longed for it actually.  Working as a labor and delivery nurse in a local hospital, I saw many mamas and babies daily....and yet I couldn't seem to get there myself.  I will admit giving into tears on occasion.  I wanted a baby.  Why wouldn't God give us a baby?
  That fall we decided to try infertility treatment.  We scheduled an appointment with a specialist and my hopes soared!  This would be it!!  I knew it!  Well, three months in, I did indeed become pregnant.  I witnessed two lines for the first time!!!  We were overjoyed.  Not long after, however, we're given horrid news.....we lost our baby.  November of that year, our dreams were crushed.
  Why?  Why God?  Why would you allow this?  I know you don't play jokes, but why??  I don't understand!!!!
  We decided to try one more time with help.  After a few months we thought we might be pregnant again just to find it a false alarm.   I couldn't handle it after that.  We prayed about it, and decided to stop all treatments.  
  Not long after, I received a letter in the mail from an adoption agency.  I so love God's timing.  The agency was announcing an adoption class for people interested in adopting.  I had contacted the agency some time back, but had never heard from them.  I called my husband at work who encouraged me to sign us up, so I did.
  As we didn't expect to have children, we decided to name our animals our "names" instead, so I went outside and fed Tim's mare, "Mattie".  I think I told Mattie a little bit about our plans...our critters got an earful at times.
  The day came for our adoption class.  I knew in my heart this was indeed God's plan.  Hope began stirring.  Upon finishing our class, we begin our long road of paperwork.  And...yes there was a lot.   I was so excited though...each paper completed was one step closer to our child.
  After multiple interviews, doctor appointments, letters written and form packets completed (three months later) we finished the process.  Our case worker informed us we were now ready.  We had only to wait (it could take up to a year).   I was so excited.
  Thinking we had a year, we started slowly preparing....but only six weeks later we received a life-changing call.
  I was working in the hospital that day.  My husband called me and told me our caseworker called.  There was a little girl in the NICU at another hospital and she needed parents.
 This sweet little girl was born three months early but was a fighter.  She was a miracle baby in need of a mommy and daddy.
  Despite all the risk factors...God's "YES!" kept getting louder.   My husband told our caseworker we'd pray about it and call her back.  We both spent time in prayer and kept hearing this loud "YES!".  I also felt an immediate reassurance this precious little girl would be fine.    We called our caseworker back and told her our decision.  After discussing our "plan" for meeting our future daughter (we'd have to wait until the morning....longest wait of my life!!), I asked her if anyone had named this little girl yet.  Our caseworker said, "yes, her name is Mattie".  I was too stunned to speak.  Wow!  God....you even gave her our name!!!!    A name that which we found that evening meant, "mighty in battle".   God.....you are so amazing!
  The next morning (I will never forget this day), we met our precious new daughter.  To express the love is impossible.  She lay in her incubator, her body so very tiny and precious.  Her skin was translucent and thin so she lay beneath a moisture tent.  They lifted it a little so I could touch her and kiss her.......kiss MY daughter.  My daughter.....those words were so awesome.  I, we, had a daughter!   I was a mama!!!  We were parents.  God had heard my cry.
  God's hand was so evident during Mattie's long road in the hospital.  He enabled me to breastfeed my little munchkin (another miracle and story in itself).  And...after a few months in the hospital we took our daughter home.  I will always remember the day I crossed the threshold of our home with our daughter in my arms.
  They say faith is trusting God to walk through something that will only make sense in hindsight.  The time of infertility and the loss of our first baby makes more sense to me now.  Though at the time I couldn't see God working, I do now understand.  Why did I ever doubt Him?  He had a plan.  His plan included a beautiful little girl in my life.  If we'd been allowed to keep our first pregnancy, we wouldn't have adopted.
  Mattie worked her way from the palm of our hands to wrapping around and around our hearts.  I cannot imagine our lives without her.  She is a walking miracle.  Our miracle.  Our Mattie, mighty in battle.
  Adoption is a beautiful thing.  God is amazing.  He has a plan for everything, for everyone.
                 And......life is beautiful!