Running Unhindered

 

(**Quiet the blog music first, scroll down midway on the left hand side, to "Farm Songs", then click pause)

 Wow.  I am so tired, but so blessed.  God is so amazing.  Yesterday I got back from Living Proof Live 2012.  For those unfamiliar, its an amazing two day event featuring awesome worship and a great message.  Beth Moore, a wonderful teacher of the Bible and Travis Cottrell, a worship leader, lead this amazing event.
  I have to say I went expecting to hear something my heart needed....and I wasn't disappointed.  I love when God does that!
  The message presented was so very relevant: Running our Race Unhindered.  Running without baggage that drag us down, fatigues us, making us stumble.  It was about losing our shackles that make us ineffective.  And that its only in this manner we'll have endurance to get to the finish line.
  I did a lot of soul searching during the conference: God revealed my shackles.   I've been toting unnecessary baggage all my life: I've been traveling with FEAR.  I run my race with fear dragging not only from my ankles, but my waist, and my wrists....and my head.  I give my fears to the Lord just to pick them up again.  Why do I do that?  Really, its so dumb.  Who runs a marathon carrying an arm load of bar bells???
  The odd thing: my fears are perceptions and possibilities (not even reality).  I fear expectations.  Perceived expectations.....(and I guess some real ones).  I fear them, because it could be proof I don't measure up (another fear mine...lol).  And my deepest fear: rejection for "not measuring up".  Rejection...oh, I hate (and fear) the thought!    Anyway, you get the picture....Fear is a huge hindrance for me.  I've spent a good deal of my life shackled by FEAR.  I hate fear!  It's kept me from doing a good many things (that God's intended me to do).  I've been ineffective because of FEAR!
  I want to run freely.  It's funny how when you live with something for awhile you cease to see it.  Fear at times has dictated my life.  It's like I have a big "F" on my forehead painted in red, however, when looking in the mirror, I don't see it.  Yet, I sit on the side lines of life not participating because of it.   Fear has held me back from being who God has made me to be.  It has hindered me from reaching my God-ordained destiny.  My shackles have held me captive.  And....when I am shackled, I am right where the enemy wants me. 
  God showed me this weekend that to run the race marked out for me, FEAR must be eliminated.  And...I know I can't do that without my Savior.  He's my redeemer.  I only need ask Him, and He'll adjust my focus (with a lens eliminating fear).   He doesn't want me wearing shackles.  My shackles hold me captive with lies.
  It's terrible how long the "F" has been on my forehead and the shackles on my ankles.  I pray He removes them from today....and tomorrow.....and the rest of my life.....
 I can't live life without difficulty, but I want to live it unhindered!  I don't need to be afraid.

  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. 
  Hebrews 12: 1&2.
     A few notes from the conference:

• Disappointment - (without) Hindrance= Faith
• Devastation - Hindrance= Trust
• Injustice - Hindrance= God's Vengeance
• Handicap - Hindrance= Hero
• My Pain - Hindrance= My Passion
• My Life - Hindrance= My God Ordained Destiny

 And....the last verse from the book of Acts: "He [Paul] proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ—with all boldness and without hindrance!"  Acts 28:31.

 Running without hindrance....that's what I want.

*Notes and ideas are taken from Beth Moore's Living Proof Live 2012 Boise Conference.

   Okay, I just finished studying the book of Esther.  Wow!  It's crazy what you can get after reading a book of the Bible you've already studied.  The word of the Lord IS alive and active.  You can read something in the Bible many times and still come away with something different.
  As a kid, I used to look at the Bible and wish it was smaller.  "How can I ever "get" it all when there is so much to it?"  I used to think this.  Now I am so thankful for its size and depth.  It's a never ending treasure chest.  You never know what you'll get when you read it (praying for God's wisdom and understanding as you read).   It becomes water in your life.....you can't live without it.  It quenches every need in your life.
  If you haven't picked up your Bible today, do it, please.  Pray that God would reveal things to you.  Do it with an open heart.  You will be amazed what happens...  I  promise.  He's done it for me.  He will for you.

  With Love,
     Candis
 
  For the word of God is living and active.......
                                    Hebrews 4:12

In Your Hands

  What can I say?  I can't say anything that would do justice.  My words could never do you justice.  To say "amazing" would be the only thing I could utter.  And even that word doesn't do you justice.  God, you are so big.  I am so small.  Who am I to ever think I am anything.  You created the universe, you created me.  You've created it all.  You are the Almighty, the Prince of Peace, the Great I AM.   You are.
  God, how do I worship you, when all I have is a sinner's voice.  My lips have lied and deceived.   How could my praise mean anything to you?
  Yet, you care so much.  You go to great lengths to reveal yourself to me.  You listen to my silent prayers.  And.....you answer them.  Who else could do that?
  God, how could I ever doubt you?  You are.  You have been.  You always will be.  I have no reason to ever worry.  You are the creator of everything beautiful.  My life is in your hands.
 
   Thank you.

For Such A Time As This

"...And who knows but that you have come ....for such a time as this?"  Esther 4:14.


These words: spoken to a young Jewish queen many years ago.....

  Still ring true today: for YOU.

Why are you here?  In 2012.  What is your purpose?  Who will you influence?  Who might God encourage, save or send hope to through you?
  Why......are........you........here????

It's awesome to think about.
You have a purpose.  You have been given gifts to use.  There will be a time in life when your decisions directly effect lives around you.
What is YOUR purpose???  Why were you created?
  Contemplate these words:
For, who knows, but that You have come....for such a time as.......this.....
 
 Grab hold of God.....and GO FOR IT!

The Journey

  The trail.  We're all on one.  Each trail is a little different, but we're all on a journey.   We are each headed to a destination....whether cautious with our steps or not, our journey will take us somewhere.     The journey has its perils.  There are fields of flowers, but also ledges.  Canyons.  Thorns.  The journey can even be deadly.
 A guide..there is one, and a map.   It leads to a place unimaginable.  A place without ledges, canyons, thorns or death.   A place so amazing its beyond comprehension.   And...a love so beyond anything experienced.  A love, calling you by name.  By name...  This love is waiting for you and knows you by name......
  Where is this guide?  Does He seem illusive? Are you wandering?   Wandering..... tired, sore feet.  Blisters.  Disillusionment.  Cynicism.  Tears.  Being lost....in a wilderness, without a map.  Where is your help?
  He is walking next to you.....waiting for you to ask Him for directions.  He's a gentleman...He will not force Himself on anyone.  He waits for an invitation.  You have free-will.  You also have a choice in life: lead.....or follow.  You can try leading...the only problem: you don't have the map.  And...there is an end to every journey.  Only the guide knows when yours is through, and if He's not leading, you will forever be lost.
What will you decide?  The guide: His hand is reaching out to you.  Your name is on His lips....and the love He has for you is something you'll never comprehend.  Place your hand in His.  Trust Him.  Let Him lead.  He will never leave you, nor will He forsake you.  And you will be safe.
 

You have a Purpose

For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.      
          Psalm 139: 13&14

I [Your Father in Heaven] have plans for you..........  I have plans for YOU.........   I have plans for YOU...........

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
         Psalm 139: 16

  You were created on purpose.  You were created with a purpose.  YOU WERE CREATED- YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT.  THERE IS NOTHING ACCIDENTAL ABOUT YOUR LIFE. 

   My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depth of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body. 
        Psalm 139: 15

   My Daughter,

  You are beautiful!  Created by my hand....I have plans for your life....
Don't be afraid to step out.  Take that step of faith.  Grab My hand and let everything else go.  Let Me have it.  Drop your struggles, your fears, your insecurities and failure at My feet.  YOU need Me...you can't do this without Me.... I love you.....I LOVE YOU!  I already know you: your failures, they're not a surprise to Me.   I've already forgiven them when Jesus hung on the cross.
  I created you, love you...why can't you trust Me with your life?  Step out....let go.  Let go...and let Me.  It's because of Me you can walk....why not trust Me with your steps.  I want nothing more. 
  In Me only, will you become what you were created to be.  You will never find yourself outside Me.  Place your hand in Mine.  Let go of everything else and don't look back.  Trust Me.  Take that step of faith, give Me your hand and trust Me.  Become that girl you were created to be.
   Let Me have control of your life: ALL of it.  Every little bit of it.  Then let Me work a wonder that only I can do.  Trust me.  My Daughter, I love you.
                             Your Father,
                                   God

Being confident of this, He who began a work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  
        Philippians 1:6

I Didn't Know That Was Inside Me

  Its funny sometimes.  You feel you know yourself...  What is there that you don't know right?  That's what I used to think.  To be honest, I felt to a degree, I had life dialed in.  I knew myself and I knew where I stood before God.  It's also funny that when you feel you've got anything "dialed in" before God, He kindly bumps you off your pedestal and reminds you who you really are.  Or...what you are. 
  I serve a God that loves me...so much so He allowed his Son to die on the cross in my place.  I know He loves me.  So I have no other way to take correction and insight than that it's given with love. 
  A few weeks ago the Lord asked me to do something.  In hindsight, He asked me a long time ago...I have just been procrastinating.  To be honest, I didn't even realize I was procrastinating...I just kept putting it off.  My reason: well, that's something recently revealed to me.  That's something I didn't have so dialed in.  It's bizarre how you can live with something for so long and not realize it's inside of you.  I guess I don't know myself as well as I thought.  FEAR.  I struggle with fear. 
  I fear what people think.  I fear that I don't fit in.  I fear that people will talk about me badly.  I fear that I will lose friends.  I fear....I fear....I fear....I............  Wow.  I have sat up here on my little isolated hill thinking I have stuff dialed in....and yet I am not obeying Christ....because........of fear.  Fear that I didn't realize I even had...and yet it has taken over a huge part of my life.   Wow...talk about being blind.  Ya....guess I didn't have things so dialed in.
  God is so good though.  He doesn't condemn mistakes.  He is the giver of forgiveness and GRACE.   Grace (paraphrased): Unmerited favor...a gift undeserved.  He is so good to hand out grace.  I so don't deserve it either.  God knows who I am, an arrogant child who thinks she has stuff dialed in....and yet she's totally blind to a monster residing inside her.  I am so thankful for grace.
  I am also so thankful that God is the perfecter of life.  "God...please take my fear from me."  I will never be able to remove my own fear.....obviously.  But He can, (If I let go of it).  God gives power over fear...as well as grace when I mess that up. 
  Who am I that He would love me? 

  

I Belong to You

  You have a plan...for me.  I am important because I am your child.  You will give me all I need. I will seek and find you.  You make yourself known...to those that seek.
  I am beautiful because I reflect you.  How much more if I give myself entirely as your vessel.   Will I not radiate you?  Make me a reflection of you.  I want to be that vessel...your vessel.
   Show me, give me the eyes to see that which I've not laid down.  I want to lay it all down.
  You are my strength.  You are my guide.  You are my direction.  You give me eyes to see.  You are all I need.  You are all I will ever need.
  This life is not the end.  I have hope....hope transcending today into forever.  This hope awakens with me each morning...its there all the time.  All I need do is grasp it.  I can't create it...I can't earn it....I am nothing outside the Creator of hope.  But as a child of the Creator, hope is freely given to me: a gift to be grasped.
  I belong to you.  I am yours.

Every Nation Under God

  It's early this morning.  The wood stove is burning and I am planted next to it!  I am very thankful for wood heat...something very cozy about it.  A cup of coffee in hand and a blanket near.  The house is still quiet....I am enjoying this.
  I wanted to share something this morning: something cool from my Bible.  It's funny how God makes little things known to you, and how those little things can become big.  In my Bible study, we've been studying Spiritual Gifts.  I find Spiritual gifts fascinating.
  A couple weeks ago we read a passage from the Bible: Acts 2.  Acts 2 addresses the Pentecost (a Jewish celebration of thanksgiving).  This specific holiday came approximately a month and a half after the Passover (another holiday) around which time Jesus was also crucified then resurrected.  Acts 2 addresses the Holy Spirit and the first time He came to dwell IN believers to give them power.
  In this chapter of the Bible, Peter and the other apostles were sitting together.  Suddenly a violent wind came down from heaven and swept around them.  The Holy Spirit then came and rested upon the shoulder of each individual (in the form of flame) and they (the apostles) were given power to speak.   The Apostles not only spoke but did so in different languages.  In languages they themselves had never before spoken.  And ...also in ALL languages spoken by every individual present.  In those languages, the gospel of Christ was presented.  Acts 2:5&6 states, 
"Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven.  When they heard this sound [the gospel being spoken in all languages, including their own], a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken."   
  Every nation under heaven indicates that ALL nations were accounted for.....EVERY NATION WAS ACCOUNTED FOR; NONE were left out.  The Apostles were given the ability to speak in EVERY language....sharing the gospel in ALL languages to a representative of EVERY people-group on earth.
  Now it does say that not all believed...some did, but not all.  Not all chose to believe, but ALL heard.  God's desire, from the very beginning, was ALL inclusive.  This is the very nature of God...He loves all and wants none left out.  God wants EVERYONE to have the opportunity and choice to grasp Him.  During this Pentecost celebration, EVERY population was given an opportunity to hear the gospel in their own language.  This is amazing.  No population group was left out,  EVERY group WAS and IS important to Him.
  I've read that verse before, but never really READ it.  God gave all men equal representation to hear the gospel and believe.....right from the very beginning.   NO ONE should be left out.  NO ONE.  Blood and tears were shed so that NONE would be left without hope.

From His Life.....

  It's Thursday morning, and my munchkins are still sleeping. Its raining outside...the coffee pot is brewing.  A warm blanket and some time to myself to read my Bible.  I've been reading in the book of John and have come to the Crucifixion.  This part is always hard for me to read.  Its an account of torture....torture and ultimate death that happened...because of me.  Thank the Lord it also includes resurrection because even though death is involved, life prevails. 
  The last week, my kids have been working through the book of Luke...and Jesus birth.  Two opposite ends of the spectrum: Jesus birth and Jesus death.  I have been sitting and pondering His life....the beginning and end and was struck by something.  I was struck by the humbleness of it all. 
  Jesus was born in a stable (which by historical account was actually a cave).  His parents were poor...His mama had no pre-natal care....no epidural....no mid-wife....and did not hit any sales on baby clothes at The Children's Place.....or even Walmart.  Strips of cloth...the only thing available...were the first things to cloth Jesus.  He had no Huggies diaper's.  Wipees were still a thing of the future.  Chances are Jesus didn't smell like cucumber and melons or lavender.  There was no micro-fiber baby blanket either....  As His parents were poor they couldn't afford anything.  Jesus was swaddled with rags and probably wrapped only in the loving arms of His parents and cloaks.  He was loved, however, He was cherished.
  God, because He was Jesus Father, saw it fit to place Jesus in the arms of a "single" mother.  Now, she wasn't really a single mom....she was married to Joseph.  She had a husband, but he was not Jesus biological father.   Did Joseph love Jesus like his own?  Probably.  But, Jesus had a step-dad.  And...Jesus father, God, loved Him beyond comprehension...and didn't leave Him.  But for earthly purpose, Jesus had an earthly step-dad.  Using earthly eyes, Jesus was born into a less than desirable situation (and I am sure many gossiped about Mary, Joseph and Jesus).  Mary and her "illegitimate" son.  Mary, a teen mom.  Joseph...who didn't stone her when given the opportunity...really must have a part in Mary's "sin".  People have always thrown stones, and I am sure many were thrown at Jesus' young, small family.
  Because I am reading the Crucifixion account my next thoughts fly to Jesus death.  Jesus death was also wrought with controversy and gossip.  Jesus death was beyond humiliating.....
  The torture Jesus endured was beyond comprehension.  I can't fathom what it must have been like.  Jesus death wasn't by simple injection or a quick gun shot wound to the head.  Jesus death was drawn out, painful, bloody, and disgusting.  He had a crown made of thorns thrust upon His head.  These thorns weren't little either.  These thorns, like little knives, were pushed with force, down upon His skull.  Jesus was beaten...and not a small beating.  He was beaten with his hands tied to a post....his upper garments removed and a whip tied with small bits of sharp bone and rocks.  The Jewish law at that time allowed for up to 40 lashes with a scourge (cat of nine tails as it's sometimes called).   A wooden cross was made (in which Jesus was forced to carry himself until physically unable)...  Golgotha, The Place of the Skull, Jesus was stripped, naked.  In pictures depicting the Crucifixion, it prudently shows Jesus wearing a loin cloth.  In John 19:23, it states the soldiers took Jesus clothes, including His under garments.  He was nailed to a wooden beam, naked.    This picture is gruesome and difficult to think about.  But, it is eye witness account of what Jesus endured.  It is an account of Jesus earthly death.  A little less than beautiful....
  Jesus life.  Humble.  By earthly standards, difficult.  He's been there.  He knows what its like to be hated for something He didn't do.  He's been gossiped about...He's been slandered.  He's been "without" (by earthly standards).  He was considered monetarily poor.  He had a step dad.  He didn't have the "latest and greatest".  He's been humiliated in the worst possible way.  He's been betrayed.   He's endured.  He's been there.  He knows and He understands.
  Jesus endured so He could wrap His arms around you.  He endured so He could walk in the shoes you walk in.  He understands everything you will go through in this life.  HE'S BEEN THERE.  There's nothing you will endure in life that Jesus didn't also endure.  And....because he was resurrected, He is now alive to walk through it with you.  He provides strength and understanding and a way through every difficulty.
  So, why do I sweat the small stuff?  My kids don't wear Gap....so what, neither did Jesus.  I heard someone gossip my name.....ya, it happened to Jesus too.  I live in a little house (which I do in fact like)......but Jesus was born in a cave.   It's good knowing my Savior has "been there" and knows exactly what it feels like to be me.  He's gone before me....created me.....and he's saved me.  What else could I ask for?

"No Room!"

  I sat down this morning with my kids for Bible time.  We've just begun the book of Luke...and Jesus is being born.  My kids enjoy this story...it usually means Christmas is coming soon...:)  Anyway...Mary and Joseph have just arrived at Bethlehem and are looking for a place to stay.  To no avail....there are no vacancies....NO ROOM for a little pregnant girl and her husband.  Despite her obvious discomfort and large tummy every inn keeper in Bethlehem turns them away.  No Room!  No Room!
  There was something that hit me while reading this.  Jesus has to get tired of hearing, "No Room!"....how many times have I uttered that...well, thought that.  How many times have I set my prayer time aside because there was "No Room" in my schedule.  How many people through the years have put Jesus off...some for eternity...because they had "No room" for Him in their lives.   It's funny...ironic is a better term...how Jesus life started out in a cave because there was "No Room" in the inn....and how He's spent all of His existence with people trying to show them there IS room.....and the denial of making room will lead to eternal vacancy......wow! 

My Rest

  In your arms, I rest.  You understand me.  You know my short comings and my strengths.  You know why I feel as I do.  You're aware of my weaknesses.  And...unfortunately my sins.  You don't chastise me, but gently correct me....offering your strength to overcome.  You are my life blood.  I occasionally run from you.  Why?  I don't know.  Independence, maybe.  I sometimes tell myself it's from fatigue....but fatigue of what?  You know....you already know.  You know me better than I know myself.  My creator.
  So, Lord, even though I've done nothing to deserve you....and never could I.....I rest in your arms.  I lay my cares, my day, my smiles, and insecurities at your feet.  Take them Lord.....you promised to hold them for me.....so I may rest.  You've promised....with the scars in your hands.  Thank you............

.........Why?

  My Beloved Child,
  Why do you hold back?  Why will you not trust me?  Why do you refuse to allow my lead?  I created you....have a plan for you and love you more than you will ever know.  Why do you question me?  Do you question my motives?  That I will take everything from you?  That I will require too much?
  Really?  I created you.... I know you better than you know yourself.  I am your Father.  I sent my Son to die in your place...does that not prove my love? Do you not understand the depth of this?  Do you not understand what I have given for you?  You do not understand Me. 
  Being your Creator and your Father, I love you (to a degree you may never understand).....I know what you need.  I care about your needs, and I am waiting for you to trust Me.  Trust Me with your life.  Lay it at my feet.  I have nothing for you but love.  I will never leave you....I will be forever with you.  I will not force myself on you.  What is forced love?  Forced love is not love.  I want your love freely given.  I want you, but only of your own fruition.  Not by anything I require of you.  Give yourself to me because you want Me.  You desire your life awesomely changed.  Because you trust me.
  I will right your wrongs.  I am your answer.  I am the way, the truth and the life.  The only way.  Any path you take aside from me will lead to heart ache......and death.  I will say it one more time, ANY PATH YOU TAKE ASIDE FROM ME WILL LEAD TO HEART ACHE AND DEATH!!!!  I created the world, should I not know these things?  Are you so stubborn you need to find this for yourself?  Do you enjoy heartache?
  It burdens me so much to see you hurt.  I love you so much I've counted all your tears...none have escaped me.  Turn to me....allow me to lead you.  Lay your life at my feet.  Not only will I carry your burdens, I will carry YOU.  I LOVE YOU!
  Waiting for you.
  With more love than you'll ever know,
       Your Father (Your Daddy),
                        God

Scared of the Dark

  My husband was gone last week with church camps.  Our neighbors decided to leave for a week long camping trip also.   Leaving me.....the lone "grown up".... on... the hill.   I don't mind being alone...the kids become well versed in Jane Austen, and I manage to finish projects: this time planning my home school curriculum.  I admit even enjoying a little time to myself.  I am independent, though life without my husband would be terrible. He's not afraid of the dark....and I am. I especially fear the dark when by myself.
  We are country people and live out of town.  We have one close neighbor (whom we love)....and the rest, well, fields and coyotes.  During the day this is not a problem....BUT at night... I am a wimp!
  Saturday night, Tim's last night away, I left a sprinkler going (needing off).  The faucet to this hose is past our yard fence....hidden behind a pump house.  During the day I don't mind going back there.  After dark, this little jaunt intimidates me.  It's past the "safety zone" of my yard and out into the "unknown".
  Upon remembering "the hose" that evening, my blood pressure elevated.  It was dark outside....and the sprinkler was still going.  That meant turning off the hose.......in the dark.....while I was totally ALONE.  Fear prickled my wimpy self.  Ugh.
  I waited until the kids fell asleep...all was quiet in the house....I was stalling.   I then opened the front door in anticipation of my jaunt.  I expected to be met with pitch black void.  A void of light, people, noise (except the sprinkler) and anything comforting. I stopped a minute to pray, "Lord, please be protect me" (there is no one here to hear me scream...(slight drama)).  I was a little nervous just the same. What met me though was totally unlike what I prepared for.  I opened the door and stood in awe.
  A full moon.  A completely moon lit yard.....A completely moon lit pathway all the way out the gate and to the faucet.  A warm breeze gently blowing.....and voices.  VOICES....I thought I was alone on the hill!  Well, I wasn't.  We have neighbors a ways down the road.....but their property adjoins to ours.  This night, their teens decided to have a bonfire near our property boundary.  They are good kids.  I couldn't see them, but I could hear them talking and laughing.  I could smell the bonfire smoke.
  All of the sudden....I realized God was showing me I wasn't alone.  It might be 11:00pm....it may be night...but I was not alone.  And not only was there a bonfire just the other side of our property, but God made His presence apparent as well.  The moonlight shown down into our pasture....almost day-like.  The cows munched on the grass.  Crickets sang....frogs croaked.  The warm breeze picked up and blew across my cheek.  I listened to the quiet laughter of teens at the bonfire.....and felt God's presence.  He was with me....and made effort to show me.  I suddenly felt an over-whelming desire to pray.  I unloaded on Him....told Him many things He already knew.  Praising Him: for the moonlight outside on that warm summer evening.  Praising Him for His presence...for the contented feeling that came over me.  Praising Him that I am NEVER alone.
   And as if on cue, a star fell from the sky over the top my head.  Woe! Not joking.  Confirmation.  I couldn't help but tear up.  I am surrounded by the only ONE I will ever need, and I will never be ALONE.
  My evening of dread turned into the most beautiful evening.  I ended staying outside for quite sometime and am wishing I would've stayed longer.
  My moment of dread turned into awesomeness.  It was an amazing time....one for the memory books.  Thank you my Lord and Savior. I am not nor will I ever be alone.

A New Day

Each day begins fresh and new......Unless we choose to bring the past into it.

See It Like It Is

  There is the truth, and there are my perceptions.   Sometimes the two align....I love it when they do....when I can see things as they REALLY are.  I like it when God has reveals the truth to my eyes, when I can see the big picture.  Why things happen....  Why they REALLY happen, not why I PERCEIVE they happen.
  Recently I have been praying God would open my eyes to the truth.  I have been praying He would allow me to see things as He sees them.  I admit, I struggle with "spiritual" blindness....a lot.  I am more than slightly blind....because after I prayed that prayer, God started revealing things.  He revealed things that have always been there.  I am certain others have always seen what I recently learned. In my praying for eyes to see, the first thing God pointed out was my shortcomings.  Ouch!  When I prayed that prayer, I was actually hoping He'd show me other things first.....like why other people act the way they do.  Why people say things or do things.  I was hoping for incite into other people......I was hoping He'd wait to reveal 'me' until later.  But He didn't.
  In answering my prayer, God placed a mirror in front of me.  In front of ME....and honestly, I didn't totally like what I saw.  It didn't totally reflect Jesus.  It wasn't as beautiful as I thought....I admit I am a little self centered.  God revealed my shortcomings....And yes, He revealed things about others too, but more so in how I effect them.  I am less than perfect (and for a perfectionist this is hard to admit). I am a sinner, and I am in need of God.
  There is freedom in knowing the truth.  In knowing you see everything everyone else does.  As a teenager I had the "toilet paper stuck to my foot" experience after leaving the bathroom.  It was embarrassing.  It wasn't until someone told me that I realized I trailed white paper behind me.  Well, I don't want that experience again.  I am thankful I have a resource that gives me eyes to see.  I am thankful my God reveals things.  He is the cleaner of closets, the healer of wounds and the "fixer" of EVERY problem.  Not only does he reveal the toilet paper trailing my foot, but He provides a way of removing it.  It's called "asking".   "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  Matthew 7:7.  God wants nothing more than "you".  Give Him your life and He will change you.  Ask Him to reveal the truth of who you are.....and then ask Him to change you to reflect Him.  He will.  I promise.

I Will Lift My Eyes

  I couldn't sleep this morning.....so I decided to get up early.  My mornings seem to "go" a little better when I do this anyway.  A song kept running through my mind so I decided to listen to it.  With the morning sun shining and the quiet peacefulness of my "early-morning" home, I couldn't help but praise God.  I love mornings when I can Lift my Eyes and feel embraced by my Creator.  God, I praise you!

 (Scroll down and click <pause> on my side bar music box to stop the "over head" music)

                                                                    Luv you!        ~Candis

Fences:

  You enter the gate and now you've arrived....you're "in"......you're included....

Fences are boundaries......They hold things near and provide security, as well as keeping things out.  Fences divide and separate....

 Correctly placed fences are imperative....Poorly placed fences hold back and isolate and can slowly destroy.....BUT, fences can be taken down and replaced.

 Where are your fences?  Where are your gates?

  Jesus answered, "I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  John 14:6
  
  You hem me in-behind and before......  Psalm 139:5

Don't Fit In?

Walking the line.  Truth.  Lies.  Which will I listen too?  I have a choice that needs made.
I will be honest.  I have felt that terrible feeling.  Not fitting in.  I wasn't like them.  I didn't measure up.  I was less than "them"....what was I doing there? 
The standards of measuring up....vague.  Not even sure what they are, but I don't meet them.
  And who's standards are they?  I didn't think about that.  Someones standards.  Perceived standards.  Important standards.  Standards that said I wasn't worthy.  Standards that held me back...kept me from being what God wanted.  Standards that kept me paralyzed.  Ineffective.  Miserable...unable to function...to be part of the group.  Made up standards subtly whispered into my thoughts....at the most inopportune times.
  The first year I went to church ladies retreat I struggled with this.  "What are you doing here?"  "You don't even own a pair of high heals!"  I know this sounds funny to some, but satan doesn't discriminate.  I didn't and still don't own a pair of high heals (and probably never will..sorry :) ).   I truly am okay with this now...I am not a high heal kind of girl.  But satan whispered that to me....and for a while I let it paralyze me.  I couldn't fellowship with other women because I hated high heals and didn't own a pair.  So dumb.....but so real.
  Oh....satan is good at whispering.  He's deceptive father of lies and he's good at whispering.  He knows how to hurt....where the blows hurt the most.   Especially if our focus is misplaced......if we're weak.
  But....God is truth.  He's given each of us a set of "truths" to live by.  A tool to measure thoughts by.  Are thoughts true or false?  Do they measure up to what He's said about me?  What does He say in His word?  If a thought doesn't align with the Bible I have a responsibility to throw it out.  To realize it for what it is.....a lie.
  I am His creation.  Created by an Almighty God.  I was created with a purpose.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am beautiful because I am His........His daughter.  I am unique.  He's made me different than everyone...I have a specific purpose.  I don't need high heals to be important.   God made me to wear boots.
  But honestly, this is a battle I struggle with still.  It's not as difficult now....I asked God to show me the truth about myself...and He did.  That doesn't mean I don't need reminded.  I walk into a new life situation and those feelings resurface.
 I was recently talking with a friend.  Her thoughts of not "fitting in" at church kept her from attending.   I couldn't judge, I've been "thought" paralyzed too.  But it's so dumb!  Really...if you think about it.  We know the truth.  We have the book of truth.  We have a tool to measure our thoughts by...so why don't we use it?  I realize I was right where satan wanted me when I was ineffective.  God pulled me from that place and He will to anyone that asks.
"You don't fit in".  "You're not like them".  "You're not as holy as they are".  "You have made too many mistakes....you are too messed up".  "You don't have as much money as they do".  "You don't have the education."  "You lack experience." "You're not popular". "You're not....you're not....you're not...."
  He [Jesus] didn't fit in.  He wasn't like them.  He was sinless yet didn't act like the "holy" pharisees.  He died for mistakes.  He knew we'd mess up....He knew in advance...because we are sinners...that's what sinners do.  He didn't have money....he was a carpenters son.  His education?  .....a home taught carpenter.  His experience... three years.  He was not popular....He was killed because He was hated.
Did this matter?
If thoughts don't align with what God says ....they are a lie.

A Sanctuary

Its late tonight.  I guess it's in the peace and quiet of my home that things come to me.  The world is sleeping.  My babies tucked in their beds.  My husband asleep as well.  My time.  My thoughts uninterrupted.  I can close my eyes and enjoy my own little sanctuary.  Time with my God, my favorite colors, my favorite things...time to be me.  Life is sweet, it is peaceful.  The music low.  Focusing on what gives me joy....surrounding myself with bits of tangible perfection:
 

  Lilacs in a canning jar brought by a friend.  Splashes of color on my walls. Homemade bread on the cupboard.  Beautiful brown, cream and green eggs in their basket.  New homeschool curriculum tucked away for this fall.  My garden.  Sweet peas lifting their arms to the sun. The color green.  Holstein grass calves lazily meandering thru the pasture.  Quail in the wood pile singing.  The late evening sun shining thru windows in the barn.  Sunbeams thru the dust. The scent of sweet hay covering the barn floor.   Children running barefoot awaiting raspberries on the vine.  Over-alls, tractors and straw hats.  The sweet juicy flavor of a home grown bright red strawberry.  The breeze thru the cottonwood tree.  Continuous "clicking" of sprinklers.  Crickets.  Night sounds of the frogs in the pond.  Distant wail of the coyotes at night. 

  I have been awhile surrounded by these things.  For that I am thankful.  It has only been recently however that God brought this to my attention.  He's given me my own sanctuary where I can enjoy life and I've only recently realized what I had.  A sanctuary where I can get away from the world. 
  When I moved here I didn't like it.  I prayed two years for contentment.  I've always been a country girl...living on a farm wasn't the issue.  I struggled with the lack of trees...the heat in the summer...the naked feeling of flat land.  I missed the mountains of my childhood.  I missed snow.  The first two years living here I had so many things to be thankful for...right in full view.  I didn't see them, didn't embrace them.  God was handing me beauty on a platter and I was too blind to see it.
  I sit in my quiet sanctuary tonight, thankful.  Thankful for this little farm.  The heat in the summer makes for good gardens.  The flat contour of this valley makes farming possible.  Trees...well, I do have a couple of those and I LOVE them.  I will always love trees.  But more than anything I thank God for the contentment He's given me here.  He freely gives contentment to those who ask.   He's placed me here...and surrounded me with His creations.   There is beauty EVERYWHERE......I guess having the eyes to see it...that's the issue.