"Who are you?", a quiet voice asked me. I know your name, I know everything about you. But I am asking YOU, "who are you?" "Do YOU know who you are?" Immediately my thoughts answer, "of course I know, I am Tim's wife, I am Mattie, Hap and Annie's mom, I am a child of God...". The quiet voice then asked me again, "I know who you are, I know who your husband is, and I created your children." "But Candis, who are you?" I admit I had to stop and think....for awhile. Who am I? I know who I am in relation to others, but who is this person looking me in the mirror? What are her interests? What are her hobbies? What does she enjoy doing? What are her gifts? Who did God intend for her to be? To become?
I admit, there was a time I could answer those questions very quickly. I knew exactly what I wanted, how I wanted it and when. That wasn't what the voice was asking. Who was I created to be? What were my God-given passions? Who was I?
The slowness of my answer alarmed me. Was I loosing myself? I love my Lord and I love my family. I have many identities, but in fulfilling all the needs of those around me, life was becoming a blur.
I am adaptable. I have prided myself in the past with this. There's nothing wrong with being adaptable, it does make life easier. But, in being adaptable, I am finding I just roll with flow. I don't direct the flow. I am not living on purpose, I am letting life dictate. Now I know that God ultimately directs the flow. My steps are ordered by the Lord. However, I still have choice to actively participate/engage or sit and watch life happen.
I was created with a purpose. I was created with a plan in mind. How can I fulfill my purpose and plan if I don't know who I am. This concept could definitely swing dangerous in the wrong direction. I don't mean stepping out in selfishness. I don't mean neglecting my priorities. God must be first, followed by my husband, and then my children. I don't mean "finding" myself to negate my God-given responsibilities. I am a child of God. I am a wife. I am a mother. I love that I am all these. How much more effective would I be, however, if I knew my own identity.
God has given us all passions and gifts. We are a unique part of the body of Christ. None of us are the same. 1 Peter 4:10 states, "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." God has created us to be more. Don't get me wrong, I am a wife, and mother, and am amazed at the opportunity given me to live in these roles. I have also found, however, God's given me other gifts. Gifts to use for Him, and using these gifts are incredibly fulfilling.
I am passionate about mid-wifery/ OB nursing. I love the "simple" life. I love the colors brown and red. I love home, my sanctuary. I love my husband and children (and my chickens). AND, I feel a burden for my sisters in life. I am at home walking along side. I am here to encourage. It's in this place I am fulfilled. These are my passions. This is who I am. Who I was created to be.
Living on purpose. Making decisions to actively participate in this life. Finding your gifts (and God gives everyone gifts.). Stepping out in confidence and using those gifts. You are, just as I am, part of the Body. Bless those around you with your gifts. Bless them with who you are in Christ. God created you on purpose so why not live it on purpose.
You don't know what your gifts are? Think about your passions. What do you passionately love to do? Are you a teacher? Do you love to organize? Do you love to walk along side/encourage? Are you an effective leader? Do you empathize with people? Read 1 Corinthians 12. Pray, and ask God. He will let you know.
Beautiful words from a beautiful woman.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up, kid.