Proverbs 22:6 NIV
I have been given a few charges in my life, but this one tops them all. I know there is nothing in this life I can do without God...and this one especially. I am both in love with and bewildered by this responsibility.
Before I had children I thought I knew exactly how to parent....well, that was before I had children. Now, I've found I know very little. I have entered a big jungle. I am not without a map...God is that map. But, I am human and occasionally forget to ask for access to it...I will be honest.
I love my job as mom though...I wouldn't trade it for the world. Children have a way of defining you, adding crayon marks to the walls of life. Humbling you and reminding you who you really are.
Last night at church I heard a VERY LOUD lion "roaring" in a near-by classroom. I was thinking this little lion was quite loud and slightly over-bearing. As I continued to listen, the little voice behind it became very familiar. This loud, but sweet over-bearing lion was MY DAUGHTER! My youngest daughter. She was engaged in a "roaring" competition with a little boy in class. She was puffing her chest as deep as she could, standing an inch from his face and roaring into his eye-ball (sorry Athan). She needed him to know she was bigger. My sweet little daughter. Where this competitive trait comes from I do know. It looks at me in the mirror. I don't remember "roaring" at the boys in class, but being the best and winning used to be very important to me. Ugh...I guess she's a lot like me. You'd think I would know myself well, but parenting myself is another issue...lol God, I pray for guidance.
"Mom, do I have to do this?", Mattie asks as we start school in the morning. "Yes," I say..."lets just do this and get done!" Mattie doesn't see school as something done quickly. School is the equivalent to washing dishes. She would much rather be climbing trees, making mud pies, chasing her brother, or building a fort. Anything but school! My busy child of mercy struggles to sit. Sitting is for the birds. As a mom I am learning how to do school on the go. School CAN be done while standing on one's head; it can...and it can be done well! Though there are times when sitting is required. But, I am learning new things...life outside the box. Parenting Mattie is an amazingly fast and wonderful ride! Lord, I pray you give me wisdom. Teach me to see things through my children's eyes.
Adoration mixed with a touch of orneriness. That is what I see in Hap's eyes. Orneriness seems to surface a lot actually. I know where that one comes from also. But how do you parent that one? Especially when you find yourself laughing at him. That doesn't help. Convincing his sister to drink dog water isn't funny, but when he looks at you with that little sparkle. God give me discernment to know how react appropriately.
God, please help me to be the parent I need to be; have to be. I pray my children grow to desire you, to love you, to have an awesome relationship with you. Please help me let go of insecurities and pre-conceived notions defining my parenting. I know I am human. I make mistakes but am also forgiven. I pray my children see you in me. That my walk far exceeds my talk. Give me wisdom, there are many things I don't know. Thank you for this amazing lion, gymnast, and little boy. You've blessed me more than I can imagine. I praise you!
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